"Joy is more than a sense of the comic, more than earthly pleasure, and to a believer even more than what we call happiness. Joy is the enjoyment of God and all the good things that come from the hand of God." - Sherwood Wirt
I can honestly say that I have experienced more joy in this Christmas season than I have in seasons past. We spent Christmas Eve with my extended family and Christmas day with John's. Watching Noah interact with everyone and play with his new toys is just like watching any other normal 2 year old. His recovery after the surgery really has been phenomenal. His physical therapist commented today that his motor skills are where they should be for his age, and his hair hasn't even grown back yet (referring to the time it normally takes to recover). He has recovered really well, and John and I are very lucky, she said. We're not lucky...we're covered in prayer!
Because it has been such a wonderfuly normal past couple of weeks, I had pushed Noah's situation to the back of my mind, only to be reminded today that our Birmingham trip is quickly approaching. With that realization came the temptation to worry and fear. Chemotherapy is such a scary word, and with it comes so many unknowns. John and I are about to lead our son down what appears to be a dark path; I've read so many stories about how chemo affects children, and each one is different. We don't really know what we're getting into. It is here where there isn't any light showing us where our next step will lead that we must cling to the Light of the world. I have to keep reminding myself that He knows...and that is all that matters. I can only pray in faith, and that is what I'm doing - praying that the MRI will reveal there is no residual tumor and chemo won't be needed!
I write all this through tears, because I am really struggling to fight this fear. The enemy is trying to steal my joy, but I am fighting hard to keep it. When you pray for Noah, please also pray for me and John. Noah is so intuitive, and he knows me well...I don't want him to sense any fear from either one of us. We have got to be strong for him - be warriors for him. Pray for the Lord to encourage us and replace our weakness with His strength.
Noah won't be able to eat after 7am on Wednesday, and we are scheduled to begingthe 3-day process at 12:15pm. Noah's port will be accessed for the first time, and I'm unsure how he will handle that. After the MRI he is scheduled to begin the treatments. As always, John and I are so thankful for everyone who reads our blog and prays for our comfort and Noah's healing. We will try to post a blog as soon as possible after we get in a room on Wednesday and know exactly what the plans are. Happy New year to all and may it be blessed and filled with joy only the Lord can give. :)
The Lord is my Light and my Salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident. One thing I ask of the Lord, and this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock. Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at His tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. Hear my voice when I call, O Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. My heart says of you, "Seek His face!" Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide Your face from me, do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me; O God my Savior. Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Teach me Your way, O Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for flase witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; BE STRONG AND TAKE COURAGE AND WAIT FOR THE LORD. - Psalm 27
These posts are written by Noah's parents Jessica & John David Crowe. The default author is Jess, and those written by John David will be noted.