Well, today was easier than yesterday - but still hard. We didn’t have as many struggles with Noah today as far as putting IVs & tubes in him. He ate a ton of yogurt (he thinks it's ice cream) and let me tell you - his bowels are working just fine! NO problems there at all. In fact, He made up for lost time.
He was still frustrated at the bandages around his head. If you have ever had a surgery, you know that sometimes stitches can itch and become irritated. He wanted to scratch and pull of the bandages all day. Our nurse during the day was Suzan. She had a great idea. She went over to the burn unit and grabbed a mesh hat - kind of a net - to put over the bandages. Worked like a charm, He was no longer able to pull the bandages off and that gave us a little bit of relief. Noah was talking more today than ever. He would wave bye bye and say it to those he didn’t want around. He even was holding his sip cup with his right and left hand, something he couldn’t do before surgery. He is improving with every moment. We pray this keeps up. The kept him in the PICU again today and tonight. We have accepted the fact that we can’t be with him 24/7 which as any parent knows is so hard. He managed to push himself up on his knees this afternoon and reach for me in his bed. I took him in my arms and sat down in a chair with him. This was the first hug he has had in four days. We are a very affectionate family - I realized this was more than likely one of the big things he wanted yesterday. I didn’t know if I could sit down with him but the nurse gave it an ok and adjusted all the tubes and wires and we had the best 30 minutes of the day. He sat in my arms so calm and peaceful. But six o'clock rolled around and there was a situation in the PICU with a child so everyone non-staff had to leave. Putting him down was heart breaking. I had to walk away while he was screaming my name. He doesn’t understand what's happening when we leave and that is so hard to deal with. The PICU has been closed ever since. So we missed our visit from 8 - 10 and more than likely 12 - 2. When they have to do emergency procedures on kids in there, no one can be around. We called his nurse every hour to check on him. Thankfully she said he was calm and that she was by his bedside taking care of him. Praise God.
It's difficult to let go of control and trust that he will be ok. It's difficult to let go of control of anything. As we left tonight, Jessica said to me "when Jesus spoke to the disciples and said follow me, they dropped everything and went after him. They didn’t get to choose their path; they just did what He asked them to do. They were walking by faith" That’s giving up control. To be put in this situation where we have little or no control has taught us a little bit more about faith. We are both control freaks, so naturally this goes against everything we want - God's ways are not our ways.
We are learning that to say YES to God is to say "I will follow you and go through what you want me to go through with blind faith." We can only trust that God is and will take care of Noah - in life and in death.
Hopefully we will be put in a real room tomorrow. This means that tonight is the last night for a while that Jessica and I will be together. One of us must stay at the Ronald McDonald house at night to secure the room and one of us will be with Noah. We will rotate the nights. This is another thing we have to trust God with. Noah is the main priority. His healing and recovery are what is forefront on our minds. We also realize that our marriage will also be tested in this trial. Pray for us so we can be strong for Noah.
There is so much heartache here. We left the waiting room with families everywhere devastated with disaster. A sweet couple that had been told their 4 year old may not make it 48 hours. A sweet mother with a child fighting sickle cell anemia, A couple that has been here for 3 weeks with a daughter fighting for her life only to be set back with a stroke. And the stories keep coming. On top of it all, we witnessed a dad who trying to escape pain, got so drunk he was passed out in a chair in the waiting room. The police came and escorted him out of the hospital and banned him from coming back. He can no longer see his son.
The odd thing about today is that in the midst of all this pain, at 3:30 during closed visitation hours, we had a short moment of normalcy - the Auburn/ Alabama game. It was a bit odd. Several of us sat under the TV watching, commenting and even letting out a few quiet cheers here and there. It reminded me that there is still a world out there still moving on - a world we will get back to very soon. As soon as 4:00 rolled around we shot out of that room and all of us were back where we really wanted to be - at our kids beds. It really put things into perspective - there is nothing more important that taking care of your family. Even though today was a big game, it was still just a bunch of young men pushing each other around trying to get to a small leather ball hoping to win a game and get some bragging rights. For once in my life I really could care less who won that stupid game, all I wanted was to hold my son and see him smile. I hope I will always have this as my priority and never put anything in front of my family.
As I close for the day I need to say thank you. Thank you my Facebook family - Your encouragement and prayers have kept Jessica and I standing. You have no idea how much of an impact you have made in our life with your "just in time" words of comfort. There are too many miracles to mention regarding this so I just say thank you to all of you!
To our wonderful family at Friendship Church in Athens - the video you made for us was one of the greatest gifts ever! We laughed we cried, and we felt your love and we know Noah will never be able to misbehave in that church and get away with it because he has 800 family members who love him!!!!!!
To all of you who have given to us to help with our medical expenses, words cannot do justice to our gratitude. We are so humbled that you love our little boy so much. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Below is a video I made some time ago for a teaching on discovering God's will. It is about Noah and I wanted to share it with you. I hope it blesses you and that God would use Noah to speak to you.
Goodnight all - thanks for the prayers and for being part of our family - we love you!
John & Jessica .......... and Noah!
These posts are written by Noah's parents Jessica & John David Crowe. The default author is Jess, and those written by John David will be noted.