This morning I woke up thinking of Noah and immediately called his PICU nurse. She said he was awake and watching Elmo! They had given him a different type of sedative last night around 7pm (I'm not sure why) so he's coming in and out of sleep. I'm very pleased with this, but it's really hard because I'm not there. I still don't know if he's able to communicate. And I'm assuming that he is still intubated. I just don't know! It is so difficult not to be able to be with my son, and not to understand all the medical jargon (all of Noah's nurses are VERY good at explaining everything to us, and they have all been so sweet and compassionate....but it's still all very confusing to me at times). My prayer right now is that Noah will be at peace and content in his little bed watching Elmo...that he recognizes his nurse (he's had her once before, and the next shift will bring another familiar face), and he is not afraid!! I told him last night before we left the hospital that Mom and Dad were coming to see him in the morning after his nap, so I pray that he remembers and is at peace.
He looked really good last night; there is some swelling all over his body. Especially in his eyes/face. He has 2 or 3 IVs and one art line...he also has a draining tube coming out of his little head that will continue to drain spinal fluid/blood to relieve more pressure. He is a trooper. We saw him move his feet - both of them! - last night as well as his left hand. Still praying God will restore control to his right side. And I pray that he will also be able to communicate with us. I just want to hear him say "Mama." Sometimes I would get frustrated with him because he just loved my name, and would say it over and over...."Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama!...." how ignorant I was.
So...all that said, God has encouraged me with a word today. This is the path He has chosen for our family. It may not be what I had hoped, or what John and I planned, but it is what it is. And I am trusting Him to take us step by step, never letting us look too far ahead as to not get overwhelmed. Here are some scriptures I'm thinking on:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. - Proverbs 3:5-6
Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. - Proverbs 19:21
Listen my son to what I say, and the years of your life will be many. I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk, your steps will not be hampered; when you run you will not stumble.
- Proverbs 4:10-12
My steps have held your paths; my feet have not slipped. - Psalm 17:5
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. Psalm 119:105
God is good, and He is going to see us through this.
These posts are written by Noah's parents Jessica & John David Crowe. The default author is Jess, and those written by John David will be noted.