Neutropenia 2

​It's almost Sunday as I write this...it's been another long day. Noah woke up at 8am with a fever, so we were told to go to Huntsville ER for some labs and antibiotics. It was a very stressful experience; Noah decided to attempt an escape while I was reaching for a diaper and since his pants were around his ankles he dove headfirst for the ground, hit on the "fragile" side. His platelets were also low so he had a CT scan to make sure there was no bleeding or anything else going on under there. It checked out ok. He's just got a big bump and bruise on his head, and I've got one on my heart...it was something I could have prevented. After that he had to have his port accessed three different times, and another stick for labs (needed a different location). Labs showed him definitely neutropenic again, and he got some fluids and antibiotics over a few hours. By the time he finally got calmed down and was ready for a nap the hemsi showed up and stress hit us all again. Fortunately I got to ride in the back with him, and that helped him to nap for about an hour off and on while riding down to Birmingham. After arriving at Children's he continued to get fluids and antibiotics, and had a chest x ray. They think he may have a respiratory infection, but won't know for sure until Monday. Until then he is confined to the room, and basically "quarantined," where anyone coming in has to put on a mask and gown. We're praying that will end on Monday when they can determine what caused his fever this morning.
John is still in Athens since he has to lead worship in the morning. That's hard on all of us to be separated right now. My mom is staying with me until John can come down tomorrow afternoon.
Someone told me in the beginning of this that we had a long, hard road ahead of us - that it would get harder before it got easier...I'm praying this is the "harder" and from now on will be the "easier." Somehow I know that's not the case. Don't get me wrong I have lots of hope for my little guy and faith in the Lord, but this is still hard. I've cried a lot, I've been plagued with guilt, been angry at people, been breaking my back to try to keep Noah happy...but it's almost tomorrow and I know He brings joy in the morning. Maybe not that joy that comes with happy, no-problems, peaches and cream stuff...but the joy that raises from deep within when I realize that He is walking this really crappy road with us, and carrying us when we get too weak to stand. Joy that gives my arms that extra boost of strength when they feel like they will fall off from a 28 pound monkey constantly hanging off my hip. Joy that whispers, I will never leave or forsake you...especially in times like this.
God is still good, even when I don't understand. Thank you for still reading, praying, encouraging, and loving on us. You guys are amazing.
Psalm 30
10Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me;
       O LORD, be my help."
11 You turned my wailing into dancing;
       you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 
​12 that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
       O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.