If you love this sweet picture of Noah on the left, then scroll down for more! Thank you so much to Faith Blessing of Faith Blessing Photography (www.faithblessing.com) for squeezing us into her schedule and giving us one of the most precious and amazing gifts we could receive right now, memories of moments with Noah captured in such an artful and beautiful way. :)
Update on the Crowes: John David is doing well in Gatlinburg along with the senior high youth and chaperones; they seem to be having a great time at the conference. I am feeling better, getting over this cold, but feeling the stress of packing and moving compounded by the thoughts of surgery coming up in 4 days. But - it will get done! I have family and local friends helping me to pack, move, and clean. If we get everything moved from our apartment to the new house by dinner time Monday I will be a happy woman. :) Noah is doing ok, he hasn't been nearly as active as usual and still complains of headaches. The steroid he is taking was helping with the headaches at first, but today the dose was scheduled to be lowered and he complained of more pain after that happened. So, he is back to the full dose of steroids and sleeps for about 4 hours during the day now (he's been asleep for about an hour as I write), off and on. Before his trip to the hopsital on Monday John and I talked with Noah about the surgery and what to expect. We showed him pictures from the last one and so he is I guess as ready as 3 year old can be for it. He told me today he was ready to go to the hospital so the doctor could help him; I encouraged him the headaches would go away soon after "the boo-boo comes out." I just hope I am right. Someone made a comment today about us taking on a lot right now, with the move and surgery and all. I got to thinking on that, wondering if I am crazy for doing it now, but I realized that I am really glad we are doing it now because it keeps my mind occupied and my hands busy. Especially with John not here, if I didn't have this huge task to accomplish I would probably always be on the verge of an anxiety attack, worrying about the outcome of this resection. I have been on the fence about this decision for a long time, solely because I am worried to death about something going wrong during the procedure and Noah not being "Noah" when it's all said and done. Honestly, I am more afraid of him losing his ability to do the things he loves the most more than I am afraid of him dying. (I know that sounds backwards and ridiculous, and I'm sure the comment would be "wouldn't you rather have him here and alive, even with handicaps than for him to die?" and of course, obviously, yes I want and deeply desire him to live - regardless. But my fear of his regrets of loosing so many things that are just, "Noah" has eaten at my heart for months. I can't imagine living without him, and I won't think on it...but I have imagined him living without be able to do things he loves to do, and that scares me.) It would kill me to not be able to watch him run, or jump on the couch, or hear him sing in his sweet toddler barely-on-key voice. For him not to be able to communicate with us or even let us know why he's angry at me would rip out my heart. I am so in love with who he is, every bit of him, even the faults and flaws, and I am praying so hard that all will be well. I don't often give myself the chance to "what if" and worry, because he is usually with me and my attention is on the present. But times like now when he is sleeping and my mind is wandering...these times are difficult and stressful. So I wrote it all down for you to share in my stress! Sorry about that, haha. :) But I know if you're still reading you are willing to bear this burden with us, right? I can't thank you enough for joining us in walking this road, and if only through reading and praying that is more than enough.
We are scheduled to be at the hospital at 5:30 am on Tuesday. Noah will go to MRI and have his scan then he will be taken directly to the OR. I have no idea when the actually procedure will begin, but right now I will guess around 8am -very rough estimate! If you would like to pray specifically for Noah during his procedure, John and I will be posting very short updates as we know his progress while in the OR. In the past they have let us know when they begin, when they are getting close to closing up, and when they are stitching him up. We will do our best to post this website page link through Facebook when we get those calls from the OR, or have a family member do it for us if we are unable to. We need an uneventful surgery, all the tumor down to every last cell to be removed, Noah to retain all this movement and speech and vision and personality. We need God to guide the surgeons' hands, the anesthesiologists, the nurses, just everyone involved in the procedure. We need freedom from infection. We need Noah's blood pressure to remain at a safe level, and his blood loss to be as minimal as possible. We need a miracle healing from the Lord. God please use this procedure and these people that you have called and gifted to take care of sick children to heal Noah. He will do such great things for this world, and for You, if You would only give him that chance. He will be a man of integrity and leadership, like his dad. Noah will speak such a great witness because of what You will do in his life. He will be a man who follows You at any cost. I have prayed these things over him for almost 4 years and now is Your chance to show so many that You have heard their prayer, and Your answer is "YES." This answer of "YES" would be such a small thing for You, You who can just think a thought and it will come to pass. You who know every hair on every head, God You can just whisper the word and cancer will be gone. This would be such a small "YES" for You, but such a life-changing "YES" for me, for John, for Noah....and so many who love him and pray for him. We cry to You Father with everything we have for You to do this for us. We cast out anything that is not from You that is attacking Noah's body, we tell it that Jesus is Lord of Noah and nothing else. We say to this cancer to flee, and torment this child and his family NO MORE. Jesus You are his healer, and God You are his Father, and Spirit You are his comforter. We pray for healing, in whatever form it may come in. We pray for You will, Father. And we know that Your peace passes all understanding, and we ask for that as well. You are always good, no matter what circumstance we may be in. We may not understand Your ways, or Your love, but we know neither one of those fail. So to You be the glory in Noah's life, and may Your will be done. In Jesus' name. Amen, so be it.
"Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:19-20).
These posts are written by Noah's parents Jessica & John David Crowe. The default author is Jess, and those written by John David will be noted.